Presentation to The Association of Family Therapists of Northern California

On January 7th, Marcia and I did a presentation on Gottman Method Couples Therapy to a group of psychotherapists in San Francisco who are part of The Association of Family Therapists of Northern California (AFTNC). It was a fun presentation for us to do and it was a real honor as AFTNC is the oldest organization of marriage and family therapists in the United States. To listen to a podcast of this presentation and other interesting presentations please click on the following link: http://archive.org/details/ThePracticeOfGottmanMethodCouplesTherapy
Mike Basta

Next workshop (for new and returning couples)

Our next workshop is scheduled for March 19th and 20th at Angela Center in Santa Rosa, CA. We have openings for this workshop and encourage all interested couples to consider attending.

We have been approached by couples who have taken the workshop from us in the past that wish to attend again. We offer discounts to returning couples. Please contact us via email at info@sonomacouplesworkshops.com or by phone (707-758-1147 or 707-235-3423) for details. We also encourage couples who have already taken our workshop in the past to consider another workshop offered by our colleagues with the Gottman Institute, Andy Greendorfer and Mirabai Wahbe, called Deepening the Gottman Method. This workshop is offered in Seattle, WA. For more information visit: http://deepeningthegottmanmethod.com.

Mike Basta interviewed by Dr. David Pittle

Recently Mike Basta was interviewed by Dr. David Pittle about Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Here is a link to his website and a podcast of the interview:

http://drdavidpittle.podbean.com/2011/01/25/the-gottman-method-michael-basta/

Valentine's Day at Safari West

Dr. John Gottman tells a story about studying at the Kinsey Institute (Indiana University) which is dedicated to the study of human sexuality. In order to help students overcome their inhibitions about talking about sex the institute showed films of every known mammal having sex (giraffes, mice, elephants, etc...). John was impressed by the practices of the porcupine. Before sex the male porcupine faces the female and soothingly rubs her face until she decides to lower her rear quills. The male would be in big trouble if he thoughtlessly started a sex act while his partner's sharp quills were raised defensively. Dr. Gottman proposes that we humans have a lot to learn from porcupines.

Last Saturday, my wife, Robynne, and I participated in an annual event at Safari West in the hills east of Santa Rosa. Safari West is a 400 acre park that is home to over 400 species of exotic animals. Once a year they host an event titled "Wild Jungle Love" in celebration of Valentine's Day. The event starts with wine and chocolate in the afternoon as a prelude to a guided tour of the facility on four wheel drive vehicles complete with enlightening and entertaining on the spot lectures about the reproductive habits of various animals. The day is then capped off with dinner and dancing in the Elephant Room, which is a showcase for some examples of the woodcraft of Safari West owner/creator, Peter Lang.

Robynne and I strongly recommend a visit to Safari West (http://www.safariwest.com/home/), and think that many couples would really like "Wild Jungle Love". By the way, we did get a glimpse of some African Porcupines, but the male seemed to lack patience and it did not look like a lucky Valentine's Day for him.

Mike Basta

Interview on radiocurious.org by Barry Vogel

Recently I had the pleasure of being interviewed in Ukiah, California by Barry Vogel on his show Radio Curious. The interview was focused on the warning signs, or research-based predictive factors, of interpersonal relationship failure based upon the work of John Gottman. The interview is available here Relationship Warning Signs. I encourage you to also check out Barry's website, www.radiocurious.org, to listen to many other interesting interviews.

We Welcome Gina Carini as our new staff member

This is the end of the third year that Marcia and I have been offering Art and Science of Love workshops together, and we have come to the point that we feel that we need help with a very important job, interviewing our prospective couples on the phone. One of the requirements of the Gottman Institute is that we interview each couple before processing their registration for the workshop to determine whether or not the workshop is suited for the needs of the couple. Our primary c0ncern is to make sure, as much as we can before the workshop, that the workshop will not pose undue stresses on the couple and that it will be helpful to the couple. Marcia and I take this concern seriously and although we clearly need help managing our workload, we have never been willing to delegate this task to someone who does not meet our standards.

Luckily we were able to hire Gina Carini, who will take over this responsibility starting with the registration for our upcoming November 6th and 7th workshops. Marcia and I have each worked with Gina for several years, as she works for the Kaiser Santa Rosa Psychiatry Department as a Patient Service Representative. She has years of experience working with our patients on the phone and registering them for appointments in the clinic. Furthermore, she has a B.A. in Psychology from Sonoma State University and an M.A. in Counseling Psychology from the University of San Francisco, and is currently working as a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern at Memorial Hospice in Santa Rosa.

We are thrilled to have Gina on our staff and we know that all of our couples will have the benefit of her wonderful personality and clinical experience. Welcome Gina!

Michael Basta

Next Workshop June 12th and 13th

Our next workshop is scheduled for the weekend of June 12th and 13th. As always, it will be at Angela Center, which we find to be a very comfortable and serene venue. A number of couples have already signed up and we are hoping that some other couples who are on the fence will decide to join us as well. If you are thinking about attending but have reservations please call and discuss your concerns with us (Mike Basta 707-758-1147 and Marcia Gomez 707-235-3423).

Below is a sample of comments from some of the couples who attended the February 2010 workshop in answer to a question on the second day evaluation about whether or not the workshop was helpful in addressing a "gridlocked problem":

• "I truly feel we are united and working together for the first time in a long time or ever".
• "Yes, we will be able to talk about things without getting too upset or walking away".
• "Yes, I feel like we will be able to talk about our problems without just ignoring them and without just yelling at each other".
• "Yes! Great in allowing a calm exchange and understanding about the problems".
• "Yes, I feel we had some real positive talks about 26 year issues".
• "Yes, opened doors and gave a path for us to continue to work with our couples therapist. Great help! Thanks so much. Wish to take another more involved workshop soon".
• "Yes, I understand now there are hidden dreams in most if not all of our conflicts".
• "Yes. Very helpful. A new start".

We have heard from some couples who have attended our workshop in the past who wonder if it would be helpful to take the workshop again. The research from the Gottman Institute indicates that most couples who take the workshop maintain benefits based upon one year follow-up, and our own pre and post questionnaires have a similar findings. However, many couples can benefit from some kind of follow-up. For some, couples therapy may be indicated. For others, another round of the workshop seems to be helpful.

We have decided to offer a $100 discount on the registration fee for couples that wish to take our workshop a second time. Please phone us (at the above numbers) or email us (at info@sonomacouplesworkshops.com) if you are considering attending for a second time.

Another option for couples who have taken the workshop once already is to attend a workshop offered by colleagues, Andy Greendorfer and Mirabai Wahbe called Deepening the Gottman Method. For more information on this workshop go to: http://deepeningthegottmanmethod.com/.

Marcia J. Gómez, L.C.S.W. & Michael Basta, L.C.S.W.